Ghost Castle
You can only play it if you're between 6 and 12
Or if you're big enough to get it down from the shelf
Ghost Castle's the board game that rules supreme
Playing it is just like a dream
The game begins, we roll the dice
I roll a six, yes, that will suffice
I move about and I'm in the danger zone
"Oh...VIENNA!!" Fitzy groans
As an axe hits him on the head
But don't worry, he won't end up dead,
He just goes back to the last blue foot
Shouting "That's no' fair, ya fuckin' boot!"
The skull is rolled down the 3-D castle
And putting it together's a big annoying hassle
Because the plastic's all solid and disgustingly sticky
Like Juan's itchy pink dicky
Spin that wheel, and it's a skull!
And we all hope Juan's "gonny get kulled..."
But does it get him? Does it fuck!
That little bastard's got all the luck
He runs up the stairs and closes the lid
Wow, Juan sure is a mean Ghost Castle kid.
Ghost Castle's fun, Ghost Castle's great
Take it along on an ideal first date
But beware, beware, you have to be wary
One wrong move and you'll be Thomas Scaried.
- Miguel C. Kesey