The Lovely Happy Meals

Happy Meals are only 2 quid,

And I hate it when the menial workers don't close the lid,

I like to be shocked and truly surprised

At the sight of my burger, free toy and fries.

Why bother asking "What drink with that?"

We always want coke, and it's always flat.

That gay guy in McDonald's wants my body,

I just want a toy that isn't goddamn shoddy

Free with my meal, oh, the taste of the meat,

Pouring with excitement, hold onto the seat...

Vegetarians don't get this primal thrill,

My morals are fucked - I'd take any pill...

As long as it looked like a Happy Meal.

It's the only thing I like to feel

In my stomach after a hard day's night,

Until it skids down the toilet in the form of a shite.

- Miguel C. Kesey

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